Like the last post, this post includes a Foundation paper model answer. Can you mark it? Can you improve it? Identify what persuasive features the writer has used for effect?
Feel free to add your own answers to this post and I and other students could supportively critique the response: but remember, if you are making feedback comments, be constructive, be specific and be kind!
Keep revising!
You may be looking for some exemplar answers for your GCSE revision. Look no further! Read this Foundation Paper Q5 answer and see what you think. What would you give it out of 16? Whether you are a Foundation or Higher paper student give the answer a rewrite to make it better, or so a completely new version of your own.
Happy 2012!
Christmas may be over, but the English department never stop giving! Please find these two really useful revision resources:
1. This leaflet is from AQA and it provides a really short burst of ideas and revision points for The Reading and Writing sections of the exam: AQA Revision leaflet
2. This revision booklet has been produced by an English teacher and shared for free. It has a really useful guide, separated for both Higher and Foundation, into both the Reading and Writing section. There is useful time guidance as well as some good example answer material: http://www.mrbruff.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/Mr-Bruff-Revision-Guide2.pdf
Thank you to Mr Bruff!
Enjoy the New Year, but don’t fall behind and not revise for this crucial exam, be the master of your own fate!
Yours,
The English Department
A big well done to Scott Parkins for his winning caption:
“It wasn’t me who drank the green dye – I swear I’m not GILLty.”
Congratulations – the £15 iTunes voucher is winging your way. Happy Christmas!
…Now start revising!
Stressed out by exams? Doing revision is the only answer! The more work you do the more confident and calm you will become.
Hello Year 11,
Your English teachers will have spent time talking to you about your Christmas and New Year revision. Remember, thousands of students around the country are in the same boat as you – just rememeber that you need to be rowing as hard as they are! Effort will make all the difference. Revision, little and often, over the holiday will make a difference.
Are you in the habit of working well on homework? Do you have a good routine? You need to develop a good revision routine. Cramming the night before only works when you have done the ground work of lots of revision prior to that. So, think about the details. Do you have a routine place WHERE you revise? DO you have a rountine WHEN you revise? DO you have habits regarding taking BREAKS and providing yourself with little motivating REWARDS?
To develop a new habit you need these answers to trigger your memory to get doing some revision! Think about where, when, how and even the why of revising! Will this exam have an impact on you – YES! WHY – because this is a crucioal GCSE that your future employers or University/College tutotrs will judge you on. So do a revision plan – take the time needed for something so important. If you worked on the following days for three hours each – you would work for over TWENTY hours! You would definitely benefit massively in the exam!
December 27th
December 28th
December 29th
Jan 3rd
Jan 4th
Jan 5th
Jan 6th
That even gives you lots of rest days to play with your Christmas toys! Plan little rewards and breaks after 30/25 minute slots – for me it is coffee and biscuits – with a little check of my phone and my iPad after an hour and a half!
This leaflet was given to your parents to help you – use the ideas and get your parents to help and support you:
English Revision Booklet Jan 2012
Here are some ideas for what you could do to revise effectively:
– Read your revision booklets: then make notes; post it diagrams on your wall; A3 sized posters with the key information on them etc. Then ‘look, cover, write and check’ your notes;
– Use the past papers on the blog: save them and use them for writing timed answers. Answer lots of question 1s in one go to really nail that question, then continue the sequence. Work hard at those questions you struggled with on the mock paper. Use the mark schemes – mark yourself; get a parent to mark you or a friend who knows the exam too;
– Read, read and read more articles, magazines and websites. Do a PALT analysis for each; highlight and make brief notes. this will make you faster come exam time. Do model PEEs based on the articles you read. Talk to you parents, siblings or friends about the articles and explain the effects created by the text;
– Record your written answers/revison pointers on podcasts or on your phone to give you a rest from writing. Listen to them again the next day and assess or improve your ideas. Record yourself reciting the key information about the exam – such as the persuaive language techniques you have learnt;
– Watch YouTube videos on the exam – such as the Cherwellonline channel (see previous post);
– Create a wall on wallwisher.com that saves all the ideas, resources, past papers in one place for easy reference;
– Have your bedroom wall covered in post it notes, or posters, with key points for your revision that you re-read daily;
– Challenge your parents or friends to an argument! Get them to select random topics and get them to challenge your points, or present counter-arguments (most of you are pretty good at a good argument!)
…the list goes on. I would say, although slightly dull, answering a lot of past questions under timed conditions is simply crucial. If you struggle with your timings it will build your speed and resilience and enhance your confidence.
Revise – make the difference – stand out from the hundreds of thousands of students in the crowd! Be the green fish!
Mr Ewell has found some excellent Christmas themed texts that work perfectly for the Reading section of both the Higher and Foundation papers:
Source 1:
Source 1. 10 Things Santa Won’t Tell You
Source 2:
Source 2. Sky Chrtistmas advert
Source 3:
Source 3. Indpendent Article on Xmas
You could do a range of revision activities with these sources:
– Annotate them and do a PALT analysis (Purpose, Audience, Language and Tone)
– Decide which question they best fit and write your own questions – then answer them!
– Do your own comparison answers using the texts
– Using them as models to write your own Christmas themed texts
Enjoy! Remember, don’t regret not working hard for this exam – with effort and organisation you can improve your grade, reach your target or exceed your target!
Yours
Mr Quigley – Thank you to Mr Elwell!
Hello,
Please find the following exam documents that you can use as part of your revision. You may well have looked at them in class or done them as part of the mock exam:
January 2011:
Question paper: AQA-ENG1H-W-QP-Jan11
Insert: AQA-ENG1H-W-INS-Jan11
Marks scheme: ENG1H-PostS-MS-Jan11
June 2011:
Question paper: AQA-ENG1H-W-QP-Jun11
Insert: AQA-ENG1H-W-INS-Jun11
Marks scheme:ENG1H-W-MS-Jun12
Jan 2012:
Question paper: AQA-ENG1H-QP-Jan12
Insert: AQA-ENG1H-INS-Jan12
Marks scheme: ENG1H Version 2.0 Jan12
June 2012:
Question paper: AQA-ENG1H-QP-Jun12
Insert: AQA-ENG1H-INS-Jun12
Marks scheme: ENG1H-W-MS-Jun12
November 2012:
Question paper: NOV 2012 EXAM question paper
Insert: NOV 2012 Exam insert H
Try revising by timing yourself with each answer until you get faster. Try to repeat your answers orally to yourself, then write them down. Work with others – such as getting your parents to mark your answers! Remember – repetition works – keep testing yourself until you can think faster and write faster. You could always use the resources from the Foundation paper blog too – particularly the writing questions. In the words of Kanye West:
Work it, make it, do it, Makes us harder, better, faster, stronger!
Hello,
Please find the following exam documents that you can use as part of your revision. You may well have looked at them in class or done them as part of the mock exam:
January 2011:
Question paper: AQA-ENG1F-W-QP-Jan11
Insert: AQA-ENG1F-W-INS-Jan11
Marks scheme: ENG1F-PostS-MS-Jan11
June 2011:
Question paper: AQA-ENG1F-W-QP-Jun11
Insert: AQA-ENG1F-W-INS-Jun11
Marks scheme: ENG1F-MS-June11-v2
Jan 2012:
Question paper: AQA-ENG1F-QP-Jan12
Insert: AQA-ENG1F-INS-Jan12
Marks scheme: AQA-ENG1F-W-MS-JAN12
June 2012:
Question paper: AQA-ENG1F-QP-Jun12
Insert: AQA-ENG1F-INS-Jun12
Marks scheme: ENG1F-W-MS-Jun12
November 2012:
Question paper: NOV 2012 EXAM question Paper F
Insert: NOV 2012 Exam insert F
Try revising by timing yourself with each answer until you get faster. Try to repeat your answers orally to yourself, then write them down. Work with others – such as getting your parents to mark your answers! In the words of Kanye West:
Work it, make it, do it,
Makes us harder, better, faster, stronger!
Hello year 11,
Please find below excellent exemplar answers for the Reading section of your English/English Language exam papers. Review your mock exam answers and compare the two – then ask yourself – what can I do better?
(They are from the Higher Paper – but the principals of good PEE work apply to everybody)
Question 1
First of all in Geoffrey Lean’s article we learn that there is more drought in South East England than in Africa. ‘South East England has less water per head than the places above’ (Middle East and North Africa). This suggests that soon we will have major problems here in England as are going on in Africa and that many will suffer from problems related to water insufficiency. This is unexpected as we think of Africa being massively hotter than England.
We also learn that we will soon have rationing of water in the South East of England, ‘recent reports have predicted permanent water-rationing in the South East by 2025.’ This suggests that the situation, which is largely unknown now will have increased dramatically in just a few years and that it will become really serious. It also suggests that the government have been listening to scientists and have already discussed how to plan ahead for the drought problems.
We also learn that previous governments haven’t been so careful about flooding. ‘successive governments have neglected flood defence.’ This suggests that most of the flooding we have experienced recently is the fault of previous governments that haven’t thought the issue was so severe. It also implies that the situation we are facing of terrible flooding could have been avoided if the governments had listened to the scientists about flooding as they have about the coming drought.
Finally we learn that vital buildings such as emergency services will potentially suffer from flooding. ‘Also that hospitals and other vital buildings should be built on high ground.’ This suggests that if something isn’t done to avoid flooding something very serious could happen for example, if the hospital isn’t moved to high ground it implies that life saving equipment and machines could be destroyed by the floods and the hospital wouldn’t be able to function so many lives could be lost.
Question 2
The headline of the article is effective as the use of numbers almost makes it seem like a countdown till the actual story, this may build the reader’s interest until they actually read the amazing feat of the story as a climatic event. This is shown from the use of ‘Four amputations, 13 hours – one extraordinary swim.’ Throughout the article there is also reference to numbers such as Philippe Croizon being ‘limbless’ and a ‘quadruple amputee’, linking the headline and the actual article together. The word ‘extraordinary’ connotes something incredible and out of the ordinary; not only is his lack of limbs extraordinary but his determination is also which would the reader continue.
In the sub-headline it states ‘Philippe Croizon crosses Channel.’ By not referring to the channel as ‘The Channel’ it makes his expedition seem more than just a crossing of a water-body but also of his supposed limitations. This is a recurring theme throughout the article that later quotes him as saying thjat he did it to ‘prove that I am still alive.’ The sub headline also quotes the number ‘16’ which adds to the excitement of the article as a reader may be interested as to what all the numbers used stand for.
The picture is effective as the angle that it was taken at, makes Philippe appear almost like a hammerhead shark. These animals connote power and extreme strength and this links to the article as the event it goes on to describe embodies these things. It may make a reader continue as though the photograph shows that he is indeed limbless, he is still as formidable as one of the strongest creatures in the sea, intriguing a reader. Also the size makes Philippe stand out and so draws attention to his incredible stunt.
Question 3
Christopher is seemingly very much in awe of his surroundings, this is shown in the quote ‘a beautiful expanse of water’ and also by the fact that he was simply sitting, watching and taking in his surroundings. The phrase ‘beautiful expanse’ create an idea of never ending beauty, something which is uncommonly related to aspects of everyday life, implying that Christopher could not believe the wonders he witnessed.
Christopher also seems to be at peace being in Lake Victoria, this is shown by the quote: ‘an idyllic spot. This would be a good place to start every morning.’ The phase ‘idyllic’ spot implies that the spot is very peaceful and a possibly perfect area whilst the sentence ‘this would be a good way to start every morning’ suggests that Christopher longs for peace and is enjoying being away from his hectic everyday life and dim, uninteresting surroundings.
In contrast, at times Christopher feels worried but filled with adrenaline and anticipation. A quote to support this is ‘I wonder how much this decrepit old ferry could carry?’ This shows that Christopher is doubting his own safety therefore expressing worry, but not actually stating his feelings possibly due to feelings of excitement for the journey taking over him. The way that Christopher asks himself a question implies that he is seeking re-assurance from himself to calm his nerves.
From this extract we learn that Ondaatje has mixed feelings about his experience of Lake Victoria, that he enjoyed the scenery but not the journey across the lake.
Firstly, we can infer that he felt in awe of this dramatic landscape; ‘a huge and beautiful expanse of water.’ The phrase makes the reader feel very insignificant compared to this enormous landscape and shows that the author was amazed by the breath-taking natural environment which he was about to cross.
Secondly, we learn that he felt peaceful in this environment as he says ‘the scene was undisturbed.’ This implies that Lake Victoria was tranquil as there was little movement, noise and had not been changed by human action but left in its natural state. This quote suggests that the author felt at peace in this environment as it was free from the business of human life.
However, we can learn that the author did not enjoy the ferry which took him across the Lake Victoria. This is shown in the quote; ‘The ferry was packed with buses, petrol tanks, vans…’ We can tell this was a negative experience because he has just been describing this undistributed environment as an ‘idyllic spot’ because it was free of human interference and noise and this ferry across was quite the opposite – it was crowded therefore we can assume noisy but also busy with people.
Question 4
Source 3 has a very different tone to Source 1 but they both use similar language techniques to get them across. Source 3 has a very excited, awed feeling or tone, which is created by his use of short impact sentences. “An idyllic spot. This would be a good way to start every morning. No other sounds.” It makes you feel excited because of the imagery it creates of being alone in a silent, beautiful place. The impact sentences create that they create the pauses which allows the reader to think and absorb what is being said. However, Source 1 has quite a negative, dramatic feeling but is still created through impact sentences. “Things are only going to get worse.” It creates a feeling of anticipation and a negative sinking feeling in the reader. It creates a pause but instead of making you feel excited, it makes you wonder what bad things are still to come.
Source 1 and 3 also create their tones in other ways. Source 1 adds to that negative feeling using slightly sarcastic language such as ‘plonked down on land prone to flooding” and “ –often more than they want-”. ‘Plonked’ is quite negative and harsh in the sound it has ‘k’ which makes the decision to put the housing on the land ‘prone to flooding’ seem half-hearted and not very well thought through. It is sarcastic and derisive because it would have been thought through but he is making out that it hasn’t. Also ‘-often more than they want’ is quite sarcastic and ironic because it lessens the sound of the flooding. Saying that makes the rain sound comical and silly, like they are complaining about nothing. It adds to the negative tone.
Source 3 uses dramatic language to add to the excited tone. “A few minutes later we were treated to a spectacular sunrise.” It creates the excited feeling because instead of lessening the feeling, like Source 1 to be sarcastic and derisive, it uses hyperbole to exaggerate it. ‘Spectacular’ heightens the sunrise because it is not a word we normally use, and it makes the sunrise incredible and extraordinary.
The different use of language is also down to the difference in purpose of two articles. Source 1 is writing to inform the reader of the problems of flooding and water, and so uses sarcasm and derisive language to try and get across those problems more. It also uses figures to inform the reader( “over the next 15 years…increase tenfold over the coming decade.”) these figures are more convincing for the reader that these problems are real because you cannot deny facts. Source 3 has the purpose to entertain the reader in reading about the amazing trip he has and also to further educate them on life in that country. That is uses dramatic language because the readers are reading to be inspired by other cultures. He also uses rhetorical questions (“How do they gauge the weight”) to further put the reader in his shows as he experiences a different culture.
These should be really useful – can you do as well as these do students? Can you do even better?
In the coming weeks you are going to undertake some crucial revision. During the holiday you are going to find it especially difficult to stick to it – to keep to your revision habits. You need the right mindset – the belief that with effort you can get better. With repeated deliberate practice to improve the secret is that anybody can improve – genius isn’t something we were given at birth – we develop our talent through hard work. Have you noticed that the people in your class who get the best grades are almost always the students who do all the homework properly, who go the extra mile and who get themselves organised? So, as well as highlighters, post it notes, revision guides – the other tool you need to success is to have a positive ‘GROWTH MINDSET’. the belief that you can work hard to be better, that it is difficult and that you will fail and struggle at times, but that with repeated effort you WILL become good at something. Look at this diagram and make sure that you approach your English revision, and all of your school work with effort and a ‘growth mindset’:
Yes, revision might be dull, but remember that great grades and success at school will free you to pursue your passion for the rest of your life!
huntemf 