Year 11 Drafting and Crafting – Letters to The Guardian and York Press

Over the last few weeks 11r2 produced letters to real newspapers about optional topics, as part of their GCSE work. The two options were as follows:

“Write a letter to the York Press (letters@thepress.co.uk) arguing for or against the view that the media promotes the wrong role models for teenagers.”

OR

“Write a letter to the Guardian newspaper (letters@guardian.co.uk) arguing for or against ‘Reality’ television.”

Below is the work of two students who produced the best letters (but most importantly they displayed a great degree of effort to draft and craft their writing):

WInner: Dale Sutton

His marginal gains wheel:

Draft three of four:

Final Draft:

Final draft Dale

Our second winner was Nico Torres:

His marginal gains wheel:

Drafting stages (the second image with some useful critique):

Final draft:

Nico Full draft

Let’s hope one of the group get’s into the letter pages of The Guardian or the York Press!

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3 thoughts on “Year 11 Drafting and Crafting – Letters to The Guardian and York Press

  1. Jonathan peel

    I love these. I am thrilled to see the care taken over drafting and crafting the responses. They are not faultless, but carry such conviction in their tone. Good to see exciting punctuation and a strong use of short sentences for effect. I have no wish to criticise individual slips of expression so I will leave it there. Great work, great idea, great students.

    Reply
  2. Sam Williams

    Wow- I think that the re drafting has really paid off! Both of you, Nico and Dale, have a well defined sense of audience and purpose. I think the tone is spot on! I’ve been looking at ‘feisty journalism’ with my Year 11 class and this definitely qualifies! For me, the real strength is the variety of rhetorical and persuasive techniques you are using throughout your work. All those rhetorical questions and superlatives enhance the points you make very forcefully. Dale, I love ‘ the sourest lemon of the bunch’ and Nico I think your opening line is a real hook into your work.

    Ok- am I allowed to also make a suggestion. As an English teacher, I can’t help
    myself. It is a part of the DNA. I think using repetition is great, although there are times when perhaps looking for another word and demonstrating how extensive your vocabulary is might just be better.
    Great read though- thanks! I’m going to show these to my Year 11 class tomorrow to show them what they can do if they set their minds to it!

    SW

    Reply
  3. Helene

    Dale and Nico have deployed a range of devices to good effect. It is clear that each sentence has been carefully crafted, which is how good writing should be. The purpose is clearly understood and the writing aims to engage and sustain the reader’s interest.
    What I love to see most of all is the careful application of the marginal gains gathered in the wheel and the painstaking drafting process. I will be showing this to my own students as we have been focusing on the importance of the redrafting process to achieve the best possible outcome. These are two excellent examples.

    Reply

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